The "Animal" Story

Initially appeared on doktorko.com 3/12/2005.

Some people, despite being brilliant, are still incredibly stupid.

Case in point: back in Medical School, i did a presentation on DYSTOCIA (abnormal labor). I lifted the history off a delivery that i had handled, whipped up some slides, cooked up a spiel, and dished it out to a room full of clerks, one OB consultant, and one first-year OB Resident.

After presenting the H&P;, i was getting into my groove; warming up to the topic, i started my discussion by asking the room, "So what do we know about this ANIMAL called DYSTOCIA?"

The consultant's face darkened. "What did you say?"

Grinning widely at my use of creative metaphor, i repeated what i said.

Consultant, in a gravelly voice: "What ANIMAL?"

I was mystified. "This... animal... DYSTOCIA. Never mind." I then proceeded with the brief discussion that i had outlined the night before. Not a brilliant presentation, but in my opinion, at least halfway adequate.

All this time however, the consultant's face contorted with rage. He opened his mouth and began bombarding me with questions; each query i answered would be confronted with a new one, on and on, at times going off-topic and beyond the scope of my presentation until i had nothing else to say. Then he would let me proceed to my next bullet point - and REPEAT the process. I countered gamely, never losing my grin with each answer i gave (which seemed to infuriate him even more), but of course my meager knowledge was a booger compared to his mental cyclopedia and in the end i was spent and defeated.

At the end of my presentation, he stood up in a huff, and with the righteous indignation of an elephant who has just squashed a gnat, stormed out of the room. The OB Resident shot me a nasty glance and, sniveling, trotted off after her master. I, however, had no idea what just happened.

Light was shed on the matter few days later, when i noticed that i was getting shoddier-than-usual treatment from the OB Residents, who told me in no uncertain terms that i should APOLOGIZE. For what, pray tell? For demeaning a patient and calling her an animal.

Wha-a-a-a-a-t?! WHO called WHO a WHAT?

Clerk chong (that's me) called the patient an animal.

Shortly thereafter, the Clerks' monitor called a meeting to drop not-so-subtle hints about how a certain clerk had made unethical remarks recently and offended the sensibilities of a MORALLY-UPRIGHT consultant. Well, during the meeting i owned up to saying what i said. To which she concluded that i SHOULD go and apologize. To which i replied that the consultant heard wrong and was probably deaf. The room full of clerks agreed and confirmed what i had actually said.

The Resident looked confused. But... you should STILL go and apologize.

Which made absolutely no sense. Not being a subscriber to nonsensical theories, i left the issue for dead and never did become contrite and apologize for something i didn't do. In retrospect, that was probably the reason why they treated me shoddily for the rest of the year, LOL.

It's just incredible that someone who has reached a professional level so lofty as to actually become a GYNECOLOGIC ONCOLOGIST could misunderstand such a basic metaphor. I have the greatest respect for the man's MEDICAL talents (he's a great surgeon with an EXCELLENT knowledge base), but as far as his LITERACY is concerned, he doesn't know beans. In other words, he's just a dumb $h!thead who ab/used his stature to knock down a lowly subordinate because he couldn't understand what he said.

Riddle me this: how could any half-brained person construe what i said to mean that the patient was an animal?

Hayop talaga.

Schwang-Schwang

Initially appeared on doktorko.com 3/12/2005.

Despite: 1. studying in private schools my whole life, 2. watching American movies and TV programming my whole life, and 3. having worked in the US for over eight months now, i STILL haven't gotten my nasal twang (derided as "scwhang-schwang" by some), down pat. My accent still quite frequently lapses into those weird low-timbred vowels, espcially when faced with the dreaded letter A (i.e. UHPOL vs. EPOL). It's at its worst when i'm post-call - i begin to lose my grip on my tongue and start sounding like those teachers we used to poke fun at in high school.

Early on i learned that i needed to speak English like the Americans do - i'm a doctor after all and need to make myself understood with crystalline clarity - but the moment i leave the hospital and start spending time with my wife and friends, the accent slips and you'd swear i never spoke a word of English in my life. Not exactly JOLOGS, but i try my best. Call me weird, but i just think it's unnatural to speak in a foreign tongue. Isn't that why they call it FOREIGN?

Which is why it p!sses me off so much when i hear kababayans speak FILIPINO in an AMERICAN accent. It just sounds extremely ABnormal.

Consider: how can you have lived in the Philippines your whole life, spoken _____ (insert local language here, but i myself speak TAGALOG/FILIPINO) your whole life, then move to the States, speak English for 1 or 2 years, then seem to COMPLETELY just lose the ability to speak _____ correctly?

I've had a couple of foreign-born-or-raised friends (wow, imported!) back home who tried their darndest best to speak Tagalog; true, many never got beyond the point of basic intelligibility, but some actually got quite good at it. Interestingly enough, regardless of how well they spoke Tagalog (even if they retained a slight schwang), they could always drop effortlessly back into their native English, and you'd think they never spoke any other language.

In fact, i've had a couple of bilingual friends who were brought up to speak BOTH languages. Enviably, they spoke English and Tagalog with nary a misstep. A few minor slips here (mostly with vocabulary) and there, but not much more than the usual; overall OK.

So why is it that many people I've met here who are so OBVIOUSLY Filipino who MANGLE the English language left and right with the hard tongue (matigas na dila) PERSIST in speaking English, claiming to have lost the ability to "think" in Tagalog? Why do they speak to their kabayans in the alien tongue? Worst of all, why do throw their schwangs around when they return to the motherland, as if it somehow makes them transcendent over their brown-skinned countrymen?

It's a mystery. Is it a lack of aptitude (i.e. KATANGAHAN) for retaining more than one language? Is it the pressure of living in a foreign land? Or is it colonial mentality - thinking single-mindedly that everything American (including the language) is just downright better than anything Filipino?

Whatever it is, it's just plain STUPID.

Raving about FireFox

Initially appeared on doktorko.com 4/7/2005.

I never really encountered any major problems with Internet Explorer. I've had a couple of glitches here and there - notably with MapQuest after installing SP2, where the browser would just mysteriously crash - but otherwise nothing major to gripe about. IE is ubiquitous after all, and i thought that it was just something i had to live with.

Recently, i've been getting more and more annoyed with Microsoft - which is a whole different story in itself. Suffice to say that yesterday i decided to replace most - if not all - of my MS-based desktop software with open-source alternatives. MS Office has become OpenOffice.org. No way i'm changing to Windows to Linux, but IE is definitely up on the chopping block.

Googling "alternative browsers," i managed to come up with a couple of good leads. Among these, one called FireFox seemed to be the most promising. Integrated pop-up blocker and search bar, stripped-down interface, and a low profile which translates to it not being a target for spyware/adware and virus makers (i.e. increased security). With smug thoughts of me shafting Microsoft for a change, i went ahead and downloaded the browser - and changed the way i browse the internet forever.

As i said, some idiosyncrasies of IE i've learned to live with: the occasional crash here and there, the constant annoying pop-up ads, and the slow load times. Before FireFox, i never knew there was an alternative.

I've been using the new browser for only a couple of hours now, so i can't really say much about its stability, but i CAN say that i've had no crashes with the usual websites i go to (yes, including MapQuest!). Also, even with the BASIC configuration, it is already a little faster than IE. The pop-up blocker works pretty well, and the tabbed browsing makes shifting between windows easier than i ever thought possible.

Here's the big thing: while googling for some FireFox tweaks (you can increase functionality with "extensions" and even apply themes), i came across the program FireTune, which "tunes-up" the browser according to your particular system and internet connection. The claim is that it speeds up browsing. Prior to downloading/running the program, i wondered just how fast it could get.

OMG, it is LIGHTNING FAST! I never knew surfing the internet could be this fluid. Pages load in 1-2 seconds; the fact that i have a broadband connection might be partly responsible, but i NEVER EVEN THOUGHT THIS WAS POSSIBLE WITH IE. I rarely use the word, but this is just AWESOME!

Anyone with broadband connection and a reasonably fast computer who wants to amp up their browsing experience, do yourself a favor and download Firefox. After loading that up, download FireTune, run it, and blaze down the information superhighway.

FireFox: http://www.mozilla.org/products/firefox/

FireTune: http://fileforum.betanews.com/download/1111041458/1

New Testament

Initially appeared on doktorko.com 4/25/2005.

Last night i downloaded a tweak for my Firefox browser called "StumbleUpon." Essentially, you click the icon and it links your browser to a top-rated website, based on the personal preferences that you tick off after loading it up for the first time.

Anyway, i just HAD to post this link. It's a hilarious piece of independent film work that is either damnably blasphemous or brilliantly incisive - depending on how you look at it. You COULD take it at face value and say that it parodies The Son of God, but you COULD also look deeper and say that it parodies the COMMERCIALIZATION of the The Christ (i.e. The Passion and those long-winded TV Televangelists). Either way, if you're religiously conservative or faint of heart, don't even bother taking a look at it. You have been WARNED.

The link: http://www.undergroundfilm.org/films/viewer.tcl?wid=1000968&oftype;=lar

I ASSUME that it's better if you have a broadband internet connection and have the latest version of Quicktime installed, but i can't be sure since i have both.

Calling All Filipino Doctors

Initially appeared on doktorko.com 5/7/2005.

Crisis and Hope for the Medical Profession
(Invitation to May 28 Meet)
By Willie T. Ong, MD

“Never in history have thousands of Filipino doctors given up their profession to become nurses in a foreign land, ” laments Dr. Tony Acosta, the 81 year old and eldest official of the Department of Health.

Never in the history of the medical profession has there been a crisis of this proportion. “It’s a medical apocalypse,” says Dr. Bu Castro, president of the Philippine Medical Association. “It’s not brain drain anymore, it’s brain hemorrhage,” says UP Vice Chancellor for Research, Dr. Jaime Galvez Tan.

The facts are undeniable. PMA estimates that 12,000 doctors have and are taking up nursing. Many hospitals are on the brink of closure from lack of resident doctors. “Half of our class are deferring medical practice and going into other more lucrative businesses,” says Dr. Gan Montenegro, the president of FEU Class 2003.

If you want to assure yourselves that more doctors are coming in, think again. Fact: the enrollments in medical schools are down 20%. The youth do not aspire to become doctors anymore. The issue is not just brain drain. But the issue of the lost glory, the fall from grace, and the end of the golden age for Philippine medicine.

The conclusions are frightening. Doctors are giving up on the profession in droves. New applicants are not coming in through the medical schools. Who will care for Juan De La Cruz?

And need we even mention, “medical malpractice bill.” A crisis in its own right. As Senator Richard Gordon comments, “The solution to the medical crisis must come from doctors themselves.” These bills have arisen from public perception of doctors, which can partly be blamed on the profession itself. Apathy, lack of concern, and inner squabbling can destroy any profession.

Moreover, there is a third looming crisis: the conflict of interests between the senior doctors and young doctors. Young doctors, a silent majority, are beset with obstacles to practice imposed by senior doctors. For example, before one can practice in a hospital, there is the prerequisite of expensive stocks. If you have the money, you must still pass stringent requirements that may border on the bosses’ whims. And there’s this turf-war to get control over patient referrals and admissions. Is it any wonder that young doctors, helpless and frustrated, quickly leave the country?

These crises have hit the profession at its heart, now bleeding, and near collapse. Who is to blame? And can doctors find their way back? It’s easy to blame the government and the medical societies, but we too share the blame. In reality, doctors can either be part of the problem or part of the solution.

Our group wants to be part of the solution. We cannot stand idly by as the profession goes down the drain. And thus we formed MIND: an advocacy and support group for doctors. Our goal is to help other doctors to the best of our abilities. For in keeping doctors here, we believe we are helping care for patients as well.

On May 28, 2005, we are asking you to come to an informal meeting where you will find other like-minded colleagues, doctors who have not given up on the profession. Let me introduce you to a number of our supporters.

Dr. Philip Cruz started his Give-a-life foundation when he was a pediatric resident. Philip has one single-minded goal: not to let a Filipino child die if he can help it. Give-a-life foundation has since given away tens of millions worth of medicines and equipments to 12 hospitals all over the country.

Dr. Amiel De La Cruz has devoted several years seeing charity patients at Our Lady of Peace Hospital, a hospital founded by Fr. James Reuter and Ramon Magsaysay Awardee Sr. Eva Maamo. Amiel started as a volunteer, and has become the Assistant Medical Director of this “Hospital for the Poor.”

Dr. Mike Muin and Jojo Ferrer, both based abroad, have started Pinoy MD in 2003, a website for Filipino doctors. This website has since connected 750 Filipino doctors from across the globe in the spirit of helping and camaraderie.

Dr. Robert Gan, a young and accomplished Filipino neurologist, is a supporter and part of the group’s think-tank. Dr. Gan’s research accomplishments (all published internationally) are truly phenomenal.

For my part, I have always wanted to help doctors ever since I wrote the first edition of the Medicine Blue Book in 1995 during my residency. I have also been the medical director of the Pasay Filipino Chinese Charity Health Center for 8 years, a center which has benefited thousands of indigent patients. I write these things not to boast, but only to inform you, our dear colleague, that we are serious in helping our fellow doctors and patients.

In our first meeting last March 2005, 40 doctors came. One doctor confided that she initially had plans of going abroad but “changed her mind” after hearing my talk. Since then, more than 20 core group of doctors have given their support.

I sincerely thank all those who have pledged their time and resources for our cause. I also thank the 120 doctors (and counting) who have trusted me with their cell phones and e-mail addresses to be updated on our cause. And finally, I thank God almighty, for giving the strength and the time to fulfill His mission for me.

We believe there is hope for the medical profession. There is a solution. And it must start from each one of us. Join us for our grand meeting on May 28, 2005. It’s free.

Why You Should Come:
1. This is just an informal dinner meeting. No commitments.
2. Catch up with old friends and meet new ones. You can network.
3. Air-conditioned venue doubles as medical museum with rare picture archives.
4. Two talks will be given by Dr. Willie T. Ong on (1) testmanship and (2) doctors’ issues and problems.
5. Free, signed 2005 edition of the Medicine Blue Book.
6. Dinner to be served by Verleo Catering.
7. No registration fees.

What: Informal meeting of doctors to talk about Philippine healthcare issues.
Where: 4th Floor, Sonlie Building, 2652 Taft Avenue, Pasay City (between LRT Libertad and EDSA station). Parking is available.
When: May 28, 2005, Saturday, 5 - 8 p.m.
How: If you or your friends would like to come, please text us your names. List of names will be given to building guard.
Who: Drs. Willie and Liza Ong (Cell: 0917-387-6750 & e-mail: willietong@netasia.net).

USMLE Stuff (Open Letters, 1)

Initially appeared on doktorko.com 5/10/2005.

Q: I'm about to take my step 1 this May 27, then step 2 ck and cs around early august. Hopefully I receive ecfmg certification around late october then take step 3 by november. I aim to make it to the programs' deadline of dec. 31 (for step 3 results).

Have you already taken step 3? How does it go about exactly? I've read information about it on fsmb and usmle, but frankly its all still fuzzy to me. How did you go about preparing for it? does someone like me who hasn't taken up residency yet have a chance to pass?

I'm looking for commendable IM residency programs in Florida (Orlando, Tampa or Jacksonville). Do you have any recommendations?

A: good luck on your upcoming exams. madali lang yan. if you passed your local boards, the usmle should be a snap. just remember to study 1. preventive medicine (e.g. what screening tests do we give to an otherwise asymptomatic person just based on risk factors?), and 2. the weird diseases that we never see but are extremely common in the states such as sicke cell anemia and idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpura.

regarding step 3, the websites are pretty nebulous. go to a forum site such as www.usmle.net. you will be able to dig up good pieces of advice as well as find a support group you can sound off to if you're so inclined. what i can tell you is this: first you have to apply to take the step 3 (i think you have to prove that you passed steps 1 and 2, though) in a certain state. they each have their own fee and their own requirements. the easiest one to apply to is connecticut. don't worry, you can take the actual test anywhere you want - it's just that one state who will process your papers.

i found the actual step 3 tremendously difficult, mainly because i arrogantly thought that my 1 year of moonlighting experience gave me enough of a clinical acumen to answer clinical questions. focus on outpatient stuff and the things i mentioned above. use that knowledge to top off your stocked knowledge from the local boards and steps 1 and 2 and you should pass with flying colors.

the exam is divided into 2: the first part is a multiple-choice-type-thing much like steps 1 and 2. the second part is a clinical exam where you are given a case you have to manage (like an adventure game).

don't worry about step 3 right now. focus on getting smarter than you already are so you can blast through steps 1 and 2 and make your resume a testament to your brilliance.

i do not know which programs are top-rated. try googling "best residency programs" or "best hospitals" and you should get a rough idea of where you want to go. but take note that your "fit" with a program doesn't hinge on its prestige but on a number of intangible factors (which i can't name precisely because they are intangible). take into account the location (i don't think you'd want to work in downtown brooklyn or the bronx), cost of living, etc. btw, i've heard terrible things about florida. people here say you can't find a good doctor over there. and i think you have to be fairly fluent in spanish because they have large hispanic population.

speaking of spanish, if you can learn it while you're still in the rp, that would be a big plus.

USMLE Stuff (Open Letters, 2)

Initially appeared on doktorko.com 5/10/2005.

Q: Planning to cram 4 exams in one year really is a pain. Try as i might to concentrate on step 1 (which i will FINALLY take on may 27) my mind keeps on crossing the bridge. But anyway, would 2 months be enough to study step 2 ck? some people say its a lot like step1, and taking it as soon as you finish the latter is the key.

I have no idea how to prepare for step 3. My clinical acumen is as rusty as a nail in the sea. bahala na siguro.

BTW, how did you get your letters of recommendation? Did you approach your clinicians personally and picked the lors yourself? coz i saw the cover letter and it instructs the physician to mail it to ECFMG. I think that's asking far too much from the writer.

I saw this great website, residentscafe.com and scutwork.com. In the latter, they post reviews of different hospitals and programs. they're entirely biased, of course. But then promdis like me have no other basis for choosing other than hearsay.

A: onga, cramming for 4 exams is a royal pain. but trying to study for a joram exam is even more difficult; if you were able to get through his exams, you should be able to coast through at least steps 1 and 2.

in terms of content, steps 1 and 2 are very similar. step 1 focuses mainly on basic concepts (biochem and pharma) while step 2 focuses mainly on clinical approach. they ask about the same diseases but inquire about different aspects. for example: multiple myeloma: what is the cell responsible and what does it produce (step 1 question)? what tests do you do to diagnose it (step 2 question)? take note that "the initial diagnostic" and "the best diagnostic" are two totally different things. this semantic difference is touched a little bit in step 2 but addressed heavily in step 3.

if you study really well for step 1, think you can take 2-ck within a few weeks. honestly, i think the reason i fared so well in step 1 and relatively poorly in step 2 is because i took step 1 three months after studying for the local boards and step 2 six months out. if i had taken them in rapid succession i daresay i would have aced both.

step 2-cs does not require you to study anything. if you're a medical graduate worth your salt who can go through a complete history and physical in 20 minutes in fluent english, it'll be a cakewalk. they send you a cd containing sample cases and how they want you to do things (knock on the door, confirm the patient's name, shake hands, ask open-ended questions); even if you watch it 1 hour before the exam, you'll get all the relevant info.

you mail the [recommendation] letters to ecfmg (or nrmp) then they fax this off to the programs you applied to. be sure to get letters from people in power. it's all about titles; if you can get a letter from a doctor in the upper echelons of the world health organization, that's sure to turn heads.

never underestimate the power of connections. do you know any [of your school's] alumni in directorial positions in any residency programs in the states? get in touch with them. talk to your dean and your mentors, they should be able to point you in the right direction.

another thing: start writing your personal statement asap. it should be a snapshot of your life that will evoke a lot of emotion and give them an incisive glimpse into your soul (naks). the more tear-jerking and less clinical it is, the better. a good personal statement can make a mediocre application shine like gold. a bad ps can kill a good application. i thinkt there's a lot of samples on the internet. mine sucked to high heavens; buti na lang i didn't get penalized for it.

btw, if you're looking to raise a family, the midwest is a better place to apply to. cleveland, oh, while extremely boring, has the 4th or 5th best hospital system in the states.