Initially appeared on vox.com on 3/16/2010.
In my haste to bang out the previous post, i completely forgot to put up my reason for choosing that particular title.
From the get-go, i'd like to state in no uncertain terms that the care i received on this floor was SUPERB. Part of me would like to think that the fact that i'm staff and am on good terms with everybody on the floor was the reason i got such excellent care. While i do think that *may* have been a contributory factor, i have no doubt (just based on working on that floor often) that they provide the same quality of care to everyone. Which makes me feel bad because i wasn't the one VIP on the floor, but on the other hand it means that EVERYONE is a VIP. Kudos and sincere thanks to the 6-South staff from me and my family.
Despite giving me a new perspective on things - the view of the room from the bed is decidedly different from the SIDE of the bed - there were no earth-shaking epiphanies; nothing to make me want to change the way i practice medicine or the way i treat my patients, no realization that OMIGOD THIS IS HOW PATIENTS REALLY FEEL I'VE BEEN WRONG ALL THIS TIME. I now appreciate why patients who feel even slightly better beg to be sent home day after day (as one of my surgeons put so aptly: "It's like trying to sleep in the middle of Meijer."); furthermore, i now fully understand how bad a restricted diet (even the full liquid "ice cream" diet) can make one feel. But will it make me discharge my patients or advance their diets prematurely? No.
If anything, it made me realize how smoothly everything goes when patients are informed and cooperative. Granted, having been in this field since 1997 (counting medical school) gives me a deeper understanding of everything that goes on, so i just smiled politely when they wanted to do any little thing. I wanted so badly to go home on Friday afternoon, but when my surgeon indicated that he wanted my abdomen to be less tender, i understood his point and relented.
Contrast to some who unfortunately know just enough to be dangerously uninformed - questioning the need for every simple diagnostic and contesting every suggested therapy - which doesn't necessarily provide better care.
Sometimes the cure can be almost as bad as the disease. Anyone who's seen me eat can appreciate the personal torment limiting my diet creates. I'm hoping that by next week i'll be able to return to my favorite Chinese buffet and feel like my regular gluttonous self. I've also had some worsening nausea and dizziness over the past few days, which i suspected was from one of the antibiotics. So i've had my meds changed and my symptoms have gradually improved.
I did get a kick from the shock value of walking around the floor and coming up to co-workers i see daily clad in a gown (note that i did have pants on underneath) with an IV stand in tow. I know i always feel sympathetic to people in the field who get sick; sometimes we get so wrapped up in making other people better that it's jarring to get reminded of our own fragility.
Another thing that i'm having trouble dealing with is my surgeon's advice to "take it easy" for the next two weeks, i.e. no weights and NO RUNNING. Thinking about this rationally, a two-week layoff shouldn't really make a big difference in the grand scheme of things, but of course it doesn't make me feel any better. I was planning to do the Eagle 10k again this year; i suppose i still could, but my dreams of running a PR (which, to be honest, is only a moderate pace to "real runners" anyway) have just gone up in smoke. As everyone keeps telling me though, my focus right now should be on getting better. It'll be even worse if i push too hard, rupture, and end up with a colostomy.
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